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Lowell Thomas Costello

May 10, 2009

My uncle, lost his brave battle with leukemia this evening.

I have so much to say, a lot of guilt, and a lot of sadness.

We didn’t see this coming, at all. He was responding so well to the treatments. He had a massive heart attack last night, and couldn’t recover. He was bleeding internally, and they think he had a brain bleed as well. He passed in a medically induced coma. They say he felt no pain. I wish, so much that I believed in heaven. It would be so much easier to let him go, if I knew I’d see him again.

Uncle Lodi,

I know you used to read my blog frequently, so I thought my final note to you being on here was appropriate. I love you. I’ll miss you like you won’t believe. I know we hardly saw each other anymore, with you living so far away, but it’s just so hard to think of you not being there anymore. It’s hard to wrap my mind around. I’m proud of you though, for owning your mistakes from your past, for fighting these last months for your life. I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t call you more. I know you weren’t upset about it, but it will always haunt me, I think. I wish, so much that you could see my girls grow up. I wish they could have known you, your smart ass sense of humor, your kindness, your heart. You will live on in our memories, and they will know you through them. I love you, and miss you.

Love,

Jen

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Bummy permalink
    May 10, 2009 9:46 pm

    Jen, I’m so sorry and so sad. Odie was a favorite. I still think of him as a teenager. He was a thoroughly good person and I miss him.
    Love,
    Bummy

  2. May 11, 2009 5:08 am

    {hugs}

  3. Claudine permalink
    May 12, 2009 1:45 am

    Hugs Jen, and Jamie.

  4. May 12, 2009 4:41 pm

    Lots of hugs!

  5. May 13, 2009 8:18 am

    Big hugs, Jen. What a beautiful note.

    Try not to let not calling him more haunt you. I’m guessing your uncle could have called you more as well. Would you want that haunting him? Life gets busy and it is human nature to take time and each other for granted. Don’t beat yourself up for that. You both carried each other in your hearts. Phone calls, letters and visits are wonderful. I’m guessing he didn’t need them to know you loved him though.

    More hugs.

  6. May 15, 2009 5:34 am

    I’m so, so sorry for your loss!!!!

  7. May 15, 2009 1:02 pm

    I too am sorry for your loss. Keep memories close!

  8. Pat Costello permalink
    May 15, 2009 1:29 pm

    Today we are having a “Celebration of Life” for your uncle. There won’t be a lot of people as we did not socialize. The family we have here are coming, including your second cousin Terry her husband her daughter and Michele’s kids. Some of the neighbors are stopping by. We all beat ourselves up when someone dies. Why did’t I? I should have and on and on. Don’t do it. He knew that you loved him. He loved hearing about your kids and Daniel. I showed him all the pictures and he enjoyed them. Just remember to love the people around you and don’t be afraid to tell them because life is very uncertain. Your grandfather and I love you. We will get through this but we will never forget Lowell.

  9. Jen permalink*
    May 15, 2009 1:32 pm

    Oh Grams, I love you guys too. Thank you for your words. Celebration of Life, I love that. Give everyone my love, I’m there in my heart.

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