On: The Bonds of Sisterhood (and an update)
The other night, during dinner, I had an epiphany. It broke my heart and made me proud at the same time, and my sister suggested I share.
We were eating, and Pia had spilled some of her rice. It upset her and immediately, Nana jumped up to clean it up for her. This is nothing we’ve ever asked of Nana before, just something she took on herself to do.
Two things dawned on me. I’m raising a kind person. A little girl who sees her sister is upset, and her immediate instict is to help. I’ve never intentionally set out to teach her this, but she learned it just the same. It made me proud of her, so proud.
The second is the bond between the two of them. It’s deeper than I ever imagined. You can encourage this bond, but you can’t force it. It just happens. Here’s where the heartbreak comes in. Up until now, I’ve been the very center of both of their worlds. I’m the ouchie kisser, the comforter, the MOM. I do it all. Suddenly, before my very eyes, they’ve managed to go a build a relationship that I’ll never be a part of. I’m no longer the center. I’m simply part of many centers. I found myself jealous of their wordless communication, their deep connection, their love for each other. I know that sounds silly, but when you spend your waking hours being everything to two people, and suddenly realize you aren’t any longer, it can be a hard adjustment. These two amazing young people are finding their own way and loving each other in a way I had hoped would happen. And they did it largely without my intervention. I’ve always encouraged it, but I guess I just didn’t know how much it would hurt. My mommy heart breaks as it swells with pride. It’s an amazing thing to behold. My sister and I are very, very close. We’ve had hard times, and times we didn’t always like each other, but she ends where I begin. She’s the very best part of me. And now, they will have that amazing grace as well. It’s just astounding.
Ok, now on to things that don’t make me cry. Tricia, I apologize for making you worry. I get so caught up in life that I become selfish. My lump – still there! I had an appt, but unfortunately my OB’s office has decided that they no longer allow children in the waiting room/treatment room. So, I showed up to the appt with Nana in tow, and they suggested I let her wait in the hall. So, needless to say, we left. I had put off finding a new OB, mostly out of fear. Well I got over that, and have an appt on Feb 5th. I know it’s a while away, but it’s a great office, and I’m on a waiting list. So, keep those fingers crossed for me!
I also recently got some heartbreaking news. My Uncle, my ONLY Uncle has Leukemia. We don’t yet know what type (should find out very soon). The probelm is, he doesn’t have insuarance. It’s a hard battle, without that additional stress. Good news is, he’s a fighter. If anyone can beat this, he can! He’s grouchy enough that he won’t let cancer take him. Unfortunately, he’s not in Texas with us. I’m working out a few different things, to hopefully get him some free or reduced treatment. What I’d love from my readers is good thoughts, prayers, positive stories, and even ideas to get him the care he needs.
I miss reading about you all. I hope everyone is well.