So I think…
I’m going to have to go back on the anti-depressants.
I actually think I’ve got a form of PMDD. I’ve been examining my cycles and moods, and I’m great until I’m PMSing. Then, it’s my own special hell. I’m out of control, angry, weepy, moody, etc. All the bad stuffs. This only started after Pia, and it’s apparently more common in women who have suffered PPD.
Sooo, as much as I’d like to be off of them, I recognize that for 1.5 weeks out of every month, I’m a bitch. And, since it’s my job to make sure my kids don’t turn out to be bitches, and I like to parent by example, I’ve got to fix it.
I’m guessing this is part of my unhappiness/dissatisfaction lately, as I had a visitor this AM. It’s been in the back of my mind for a bit, but I hate to self diagnose and freak. The fact that mid-cycle I feel great, tells me it’s not necessarily depression, but more hormone related.
So, step one to being happier will be addressing this. After my hormone rage is under control, I can better focus on the rest of the steps to making me happy again. Since we officially have insurance again (today!), this is perfect timing!
Wish me luck!