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On: Abortion

September 11, 2008

Eek! I know. I’ve been debating with myself on this one, as it’s such an emotional topic.

Let me start by saying I’m pro-choice.

Let me follow up by saying that doesn’t mean I’m pro-abortion.

I deplore abortion. HATE IT. But, I see way too many problems happening if it were made illegal. And, I see way too many problem with other people telling women what can and cannot be done with their bodies.

For some reason, when some people hear the word pro-choice, they think BABY KILLER!! It’s not only untrue, it’s hurtful.

For some, this is a black and white issue. For others, it has every shade of gray imaginable. I happen to fall into the latter category.

Now, I despise that people use abortion as a method of birth control. It breaks my heart in every way.

But, how can those women be lumped in with the women who are facing a very, very sick baby? Or those that have been raped? We simply can’t. We can’t govern a persons body (or we shouldn’t be governing a persons body).

My moral code screams that abortion is wrong. But, it’s just that – MY moral code. The minute we start pushing our morals onto others, it becomes a problem.

I got pregnant with my oldest out of marriage and on birth control. The thought of abortion never crossed my mind. But, I can’t fault others who are doing everything they can to be safe and find themselves in the same situation, and do consider it, or even go through with it.

Adoption is an argument for many pro-lifers (I hate that term, aren’t we all pro-life?). For me, this would always be a better option. But again, you can’t force others to feel the same way you do.

I’m so against abortion, that I won’t even use hormonal birth control, because if you read the fine print, there are abortive proprieties. Does that mean that I think birth control should be outlawed? NO WAY.

Pro-lifers (forgive me as I’m about to generalize) often say that they are “ok” with abortion in cases of rape or when a baby will die. Well, how do we go about enforcing that? Who bears the burden of proof in the case of rape? Who gets to decide which babies are sick enough? Again, I see these being moral issues. You deny one woman because her rape case isn’t strong enough, yet allow it for another. Isn’t that a bit like playing God?

I realize that a lot of people’s stance on abortion is rooted in their religion. My argument for that is……isn’t final judgement up to God? Why can’t you stay out of it and let him decide in the end? You live your life the way you think he would want/for him, and let others do the same. They are the ones that have to live with it, not you. Judge them all you want, but don’t press your morals on them.

It’s all about choice. And, I can’t take that choice away. I struggle with this, a lot. I wonder to myself when life begins (I know when a heart starts beating, but when does that little person have a soul?). I read on it, and think on it. In the end, I just don’t know what’s right. But I do know it’s not up to me to decide what is right for others.

So, what do you think? I promise I won’t rip anyone apart for disagreeing with me.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 11, 2008 7:06 pm

    You are on blogging steroids today. I’m so busy thinking about all our provocative posts, I can’t write anything of my own (good excuse, huh :o)

    I’m exactly where you are on abortion, every area of gray screams at me. I had never questioned my pro-choice stance until my husband and I went through IVF. Those four little embryos they put into my womb? In my mind and in my heart they were very much alive, and when they didn’t make it, I mourned. Jen, I mourned so much, so completely, I still can hardly talk about it. Those embryos were hope in a test tube. There I was, legs spread wide, holding my husband’s hand so tightly I’m surprised his fingers didn’t fall off while we watched the computer screen and the doctor carefully put our four little babies inside of me. I hoped and even prayed to a god I’m not sure I believe in that they’d continue to grow. They didn’t. They died. All four of those babies died inside of me, and when I started to bleed I never again questioned when life starts, because I knew when it ended.

    I’m still pro-choice, but hesitantly, reluctantly, and those areas of gray you mentioned…they’re my shades too. I hate abortion, but I’m not going to take that choice away exactly because of all those gray areas. I believe abortion is taking life, but I also believe assisted suicide should be legal, on the same spectrum, I’m not a proponent of the death penalty. There is no black and white with life and death.

  2. Jen permalink*
    September 11, 2008 7:12 pm

    Oh Tricia, your post made me cry. My heart hurts for you. That was a beautiful, yet heartbreaking story. I’m just so sorry that you had to go with that. Hugs and love are completely inadequate, yet they are all I have to offer.

  3. September 12, 2008 8:23 am

    Jen: wow you are on a roll today and tackling such ‘touchy’ subjects! I too agree with what you say and that you for bringing it forward! There is such gray areas, we all need to be more understanding to individual needs BUT I will say that I think that sometimes some choices become too easy and are over used!

    Tricia: Thanks for sharing! HUG!!

    Jen: Keep the great posts coming!!!

  4. September 12, 2008 12:52 pm

    While I appreciate your support for abortion rights, I think that your personal opposition to abortion (and hormonal birth control) is misplaced.

    On these moral questions, you might be interested to read an issue paper on abortion (and more) just published by the Coalition for Secular Government: “Amendment 48 Is Anti-Life: Why It Matters That a Fertilized Egg Is Not a Person” by Ari Armstrong and myself.

    It’s particular target is Colorado’s proposed Amendment 48, which would give fertilized eggs all the legal rights of persons. However, it also defends the right to abortion on the grounds that the total biological dependence of the embryo/fetus on the woman mean that it’s not a person with rights. That requires life as a separate entity, i.e. birth. It also discusses the morality of abortion.

    The paper is available at:

    Diana Hsieh
    Founder, Coalition for Secular Government

  5. Jen permalink*
    September 12, 2008 1:38 pm

    Diana, thank you for sharing. I will take a look at it.

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