Cut the cord
I’ve always maintained that I’ll never be “that” mom – the one who never leaves her kids. With Nana, I was successful. McHusband and I left her with my parents often and still had a life outside of her.
With Pia, I did a total 180. Since she’s been born, we’ve been out 3 times without her (never overnight). My parents watched them once, my sister in law watched them another time and close family friends watched them the third time.
Is it any wonder why we’re a bit disconnected? We never have time alone. I mean, we do in the evenings, after bed time – but is that enough?
It’s not, for us.
So, earlier this week, we got an invitation to a birthday dinner. Adults only. Now, they said we could bring the kids, but it was a nice restaurant and the reservations were for 8 pm. Not ideal time, considering that is bedtime. Our close friends have a 16 year old daughter, who volunteered to babysit.
My initial reaction was to tell McHusband to go without me. No way was I leaving my baby with a “non-adult”. Never mind I’ve known this kid for 6 years, and know that she loves my kids, and my kids love her. She’s very responsible and smart and an all around good kid.
I still wasn’t ok with it.
I really struggled with myself. My gut told me everything would be fine. My heart screamed NO! She’s just a baby!! I had some friends give me advice. Everyone said to GO! That I needed it (I did) and they would be fine.
After much (MUCH) internal struggle, I made this into a do or die decision (because I’m nothing if not dramatic). If I didn’t leave her with the sitter for this one night, I’d never be able to cut that damn cord.
So, I did.
And, I had a blast!!! I got a bit tipsy at dinner, ate some amazing food, flirted with McHusband, and laughed with good friends. It felt pretty amazing. I got to do my hair, and dress snazzy. I got to feel good about myself and enjoy people that I love.
Just for fun:
I’m so, so glad I went! And, pretty proud of myself that I didn’t call one time! She had our numbers, and her mom and step-dad were with us.
We got home around 1, to find all three girls curled up in her bed. She was holding Pia’s hand in her sleep. It was a beautiful site, and my heart sighed (in the happy way). We picked our sleepy girls up and carted them home.
I did it. I cut the cord. I was Jen again for a night, and plan to repeat soon. Because you know what? I like just being me sometimes.