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Quit Coddling Your Kids

June 16, 2008

My sister sent me this blog.

I read it and loved it! I am so guilty of trying overly hard to protect them, I tend to forget there are lessons that must be learned on their own. I truly don’t think the world is a scarier place now than it was when I was a kid – it’s just scarier to me because I have two lives I’m responsible for now.

His bullet points are:

Give them some independence – This is the one I’m most guilty of. Kids need to spread their wings (so to speak), figure out who they are, what they like – it’s your job as a parent to enable that, and let them do it on their own!

Let them do unsafe things – Don’t try to keep them in a bubble. The best way kids learn is trial and error.

Don’t automatically take their side – Kids are human too, they screw up. Just because they are YOUR kids, doesn’t make them perfect. Don’t excuse their behavior – them being a brat isn’t a negative reflection on you, unless you ALLOW it.

Make them work for what they get – You’d think this would be a “duh” type of comment – but you’d be surprised. I know people who give their 3 year olds allowances for nothing. At 3 what do they need an allowance for – and for nothing? We don’t/won’t do allowances here. If you’re helping around the house (the house YOU live in), you won’t be paid for it. You will be a productive member of the household because that’s what’s right, and for no other reason. We never had allowances growing up, and we did lots of chores.

Don’t praise them indiscriminately – My take on this is the sad fact in life is there ARE losers. Not in the negative way, but for there to be a “winner”, there has to be a “loser” – and eventually your kids will fall into the former category. If you’re constantly telling them how wonderful they are, it’s going to be a hard blow for them. I’m absolutely not saying not to praise your kids – but make them earn it!

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