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On-Line Communities

June 7, 2008

I’m a member of a few on line parenting communities and it never fails, drama is rampant, feelings are hurt and the “I’m leaving” posts start. Here is a funny (but serious) look at on-line communities.

Someone posts an opinion and someone else gets all offended. Some I’ve heard: Baby Einstein videos cause Autism – the vaccine debate – circumcision – CIO – breastfeeding vs. formula feeding – you get the point. The thing is, why get offended? You say it’s because they are rude or whatever – but ultimately you have control over what offends you. Some random person hundreds of miles away that you’ll probably never meet in person should never have the ability to offend you. Every mom should be confident in their decisions so much that someone’s negative remark should roll off like water off a ducks back. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been guilty of this a time or two – but I can look back and make fun of myself after the fact. On the flip side, if someone is talking about how much they puffy heart BE, don’t jump on the thread opening your big, fat mouth and spout off “research” about the link to Autism – it’s not wanted/needed. It’s fine that you believe it, don’t buy them – but keep it to yourself.

“Goodbye” posts – These never fail to irritate the shit out of me. Mostly because the posters never really leave. They do it for attention, and it works. Stop feeding the monster people! It’s a paper thin “reason” to have a pity party. I’ve seen more than my fair share of these, and I’ve gotten snarky a time or two. If you’re serious about leaving, leave. Buh bye. They scream from drama – because someone (perhaps me) is bound to say something rude about how ridiculous the whole post is, then 10 people are going to jump to the OP’s defense – then someone gets offended (see above) and it continues to escalate. All very tiring, though occasionally amusing.

Trolls – These are people that join an on-line community for the express purpose to cause strife. They have very few posts, and always have a negative opinion. Usually my method with trolls is to ignore. If you don’t feed the trolls, they go away (I’m seriously wondering who came up with this name??). But, there are always one or two people that get offended (see above) and then it’s all about the drama. The thing people need to realize is, the trolls are probably 12 year old boys/girls with nothing better to do – and they are likely laughing their asses off at all the arguing.

Fake posters – There are actually people that make up kids, families and struggles for attention. This is the saddest (to me) of all the on line issues. You have to wonder at the mental status of the actual people. They go so far as to post other people’s pictures, make up severe illness (usually effecting their children) or even death. I get angry/sick/sad over these people. It’s always a bit of a jolt to realize you’ve been duped. And, I always wonder if there was any trace of truth in their persona. I’m not talking about people that say they weigh 120, when they really weigh 250 – I’m talking about making up a whole life that doesn’t exist.

Being Right – Some people would rather be strung up by their fingernails that admit they are wrong, or concede a point. They are so concerned about being right they lose any sense of compassion or understanding. In life, things are rarely black and white. Just because someone doesn’t agree with your opinion it doesn’t mean they are wrong – just different. Life experiences shape our views in life so unless you’ve lived the other persons life, you have no idea why they feel the way they do, and it’s not fair to speculate. Usually, when someone thinks someone else is wrong, name calling ensues (words like ignorant and such) and we’re back to being offended.

There are many, many great things about on-line communities – friendship, support, advice and multiple perspectives. I’ve met a lot of really wonderful women whom I know consider friends. We’ve become close and they mean more to me than I can possibly express. I’ve learned so much from people in all different walks of life, and learned a lot about myself.

Bottom line if you want to become a member – have thick skin, always think before you post, and if you start to get pissed, walk away! Oh, and remind yourself that motherhood is not a competition.

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22 Comments leave one →
  1. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 7:48 pm

    I wasn’t very nice and rethought my post. Just sending you love.

    Not sure how that makes you a hypocrite though. Still working that one out.

  2. I Kick ASS permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:02 pm

    For the slow people. She is a hypocrite because she is ragging on people for making good bye post when she herself has done it at least 3 times in the last few months. Would you like me to continue to post them for ya? Why would I celebrate? I was just casually pointing out that your like what you put down. 🙂

  3. HypocritesSuck permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:05 pm

    Also wouldnt posting this big pity party as you call it on the board be exactly MY POINT!!!??? Your a hypocrite. If your going to leave, didn’t you say BUH BYE and just leave. Hmmmmmmm HYPOCRITE

  4. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:06 pm

    For the slower people. What on earth does that have to do with what the original comment was about?

    Feel free to link me. I’d LOVE to read. 🙂

  5. Anonymous permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:09 pm

    It’s you’re not your. Seriously, learn to spell.

  6. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:26 pm

    Perhaps she meant meant she was done with that post? Of course, you are always free to twist these things around.

  7. Jennifer permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:29 pm

    Why don’t you just share who you are?

    As far as my post, it was to tell you (in so many words of course) to fuck off. Not a “goodbye” post at all!

  8. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:31 pm

    “Don’t like it, don’t read it.” Seriously? How am I supposed to know preemptively that I am not going to like it?

    Don’t like her, leave her alone. Follow your own fantastic advice.

  9. Anonymous permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:32 pm

    Umm the 2 other times that I can’t post because archives SHE CLEARLY STATES she is leaving the board. All because someone doesn’t agree with her.
    I guess maybe like ERin and Candy she could send me and the others no contact contracts and break it with in the first 24 hours. I guess I twisted that too. I THINK NOT.
    It burns her ass when its not her drama getting attention and when its not her ass getting the please stay ohh boo woo. Sorry but a board shouldn’t mean that much, its not Real Life!

  10. Anonymous permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:36 pm

    Never said I liked or disliked her. I said she is a hypocrite. That I don’t like. Its like LIArs they should be pointed out.
    It was to tell me to fuck off. Why not say fuck off? Why cover your ass now? cause again your not going to follow thru?
    You think I am someone I am not. You think you know, you have no idea. And telling you is no fun!
    Please your lying now and that makes it worse.
    Telling someone off on a private board they aren’t on, really doesn’t hold merit does it? FIgure that out spanky

  11. Jennifer permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:51 pm

    I find you pathetic. That’s all. You have nothing better to do. You think I’m a hypocrite? I don’t care. You’re a real big person, hiding behind a fake name, throwing things in my face.

  12. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 8:52 pm

    You sure know an awful lot for not being Erin or Candy…

  13. Jennifer permalink
    June 11, 2008 9:15 pm

    I’m thinking Anon ran out of comebacks. Or perhaps realized how idiotic she sounds?

  14. Jamie permalink
    June 11, 2008 9:31 pm

    Or maybe she realized that she was a coward, put her tail between her legs and ran home?

  15. Anonymous permalink
    June 11, 2008 9:38 pm

    LOL, how did I miss this??
    I love you Jen, you little trouble-maker.
    Sure wish I knew who these people were….
    -Grey’s mom

  16. Jennifer(still won't guess right) permalink
    June 12, 2008 12:03 am

    NO I actually spent time with my CHILDREN and HUSBAND, OMG instead of sitting on my ass in front of a computer screen OMG what a horrible person am I!

    Ok, so to know stuff about people you have to be that person? What the hell kinda lame ass friends do you have that they don’t tell you shit?

    And I am not hiding I tried to put my email and that in, it won’t send the comment.

    I am sure you will have fun running back to the other board and tattling on me like you have so many others all because you can dish it out but can’t take it. Plus its fun watching you two run around like you know all and you don’t know shit!

    And why do you keep deleting my posts? Ashamed of your own past, who did you call CHICKEN? Unlike you I am not ashamed of SHIT, I have done in the past, or present!!!
    Didn’t your momma teach you, if your ass can’t take the heat don’t come into the kitchen?

  17. Jennifer permalink
    June 12, 2008 12:17 am

    I’m not going to fight with someone who is too much of a chicken shit to share their identity.

    Post your e-mail address in the comment section dumbass.

  18. Jenn permalink
    June 12, 2008 2:38 am

    Are you fucking retarded or just unable to read. MY NAME IS JENN, short for JENNIFER. My middle name is LYNNE. I was born 5/25. My email is MISSSEXY525@AOL.COM. I was on your board but lurk now, laughing at how stupid and hypocritical you are!

    Now run back to the board and try to get them to find my information so you can TRY to have someone else kicked off because you can start shit but don’t like it when someone brings it right back 🙂 Who is the chicken SHIT??? HELLO! no contact contracts come on tattle tale!

    If you were able to read there was a name DUH!! Just because I have the displeasure of sharing a name with the likes of you, isn’t my fault!!!!

    Ohh now run to the board and try to get me in trouble. LIKE YOUR PUSSY ASS CHICKEN SHIT SELF ALWAYS DOES!!!!

  19. Jennifer permalink
    June 12, 2008 2:50 am

    I’m the chicken shit? You’re the one following me around, posting on MY blog. Call me out on PO!?? Show yourself – are you scared? Do it in the appropriate place bitch.

    You mean nothing to me. I’m not sure why you can’t “get” that.

    Your uneducated, unwanted, bullshit of an opinion isn’t wanted here.

    Grow up. Focus on your kids. I certainly hope you are teaching them to act more appropriately.

  20. Jamie permalink
    June 12, 2008 3:09 am

    OMG, why don’t you run back to your child and husband and stay with them. OMG, you are not wanted here. OMG.

    Try to get someone else kicked off? Jen, I had no idea you had that power. You’ve been holding out on me.

    And just so you can get some facts straight, because it seems you have been misinformed…

    The not contact agreements were not her idea and she didn’t break it. How would you have any idea when she agreed to it? You have one side of a seemingly biased story.

    If she wants something that she shared privately to not be posted publicly, who cares. What does that have to do with you? She feels shame for something she has done and has moved on from it. I hope you look back one day and feel ashamed of what you are doing now.

    Ok, so we get that you think she is a hypocrite. Super. You have quite clearly made your point. Yo have no evidence to back it up, so we’ll all just go on your word. Now feel free to vanish off into the oblivion that you came from. We won’t mind.

    “Sorry but a board shouldn’t mean that much, its not Real Life!” Right, so move on.
    (oh, and it is actually “it’s”)

    Nobody called you a chicken, go back and read carefully.

    “Didn’t your momma teach you, if your ass can’t take the heat don’t come into the kitchen?”

    Nope, she taught us far more important things like empathy. You should give it a whirl. 😉

  21. Jennifer permalink
    June 12, 2008 3:31 am

    Hmm, won’t e-mail me back. Chicken shit.

  22. Anonymous permalink
    June 13, 2008 2:44 am

    this blog needs boobies. Srsly.
    I wish idiot trolls would just DIAF

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