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Mommy Lessons

February 3, 2008

You constantly have to reinvent yourself.

You’ll never, ever know everything.

Once you get one phase figured out, something new pops up.

You have to be a little nuts to be a mom.

You have to learn to laugh at yourself.

Yes, being a mom is a serious job – but make sure it’s fun too.

Do all the research you can, then make your own decisions based on what you’ve learned and your own instinct – nothing is stronger than your “gut”.

Take time for yourself – it will only serve to make you a better mother/wife.

Don’t dwell on small mistakes – in the long run they don’t matter. Take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Don’t take it to heart when people criticize your decisions. They usually know nothing about you, your beliefs, lifestyle or children, so whatever opinion they express is uninformed and just doesn’t matter.

Say, “I love you” as much as you can.

Stop and smell your child – nothing on earth smells sweeter, live in that moment.

Needing time away from your child doesn’t make you a bad mom – aside from being a mom, you’re still human. Imperfect.

You will screw up along the way – your child will get hurt – you’ll make a bad decision. Who really wants to be perfect anyway?

Don’t set standards for you and your child until you really get to know each other. You don’t know what you’re going to end up doing, so to set expectations is a mistake – you could be setting both of you up for failure. It’s ok to hope, but be flexible.

Don’t pass judgments on other moms. Just because they don’t do things the way you do doesn’t make it wrong. You don’t know them, or their children. It’s ignorant to assume your way is the only way. Is that a lesson you want to teach your children?

Children watch, all the time. When they’re young, they want to BE you – so act the way you want them to. Nothing speaks louder actions.

Be kind to yourself. No one will ever judge you harder than you do yourself. So stop. Be proud of yourself for taking on this role, and doing your best.

Being a mom is hard – you’re going to have shitty days where you feel like you screwed up your kids royally. You didn’t. Just promise yourself to try harder tomorrow. Love them, a lot – tell them they’re smart, and fun. Listen to them, really listen and I promise they’ll turn out just fine.

Make time for sex. It’s important. One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a strong foundation. Love your husband, deeply – put your marriage first sometimes. When the kids are gone, he’s all you’ll have left – you don’t want to end up with a stranger.

You will fight more after kids. In the moment, ask yourself if it really matters who changes more diapers, or does all the baths. Chances are the answer is no. Let it go. Focus on the big picture – the fact that you made a beautiful, perfect child out of love for each other. What on earth is more special?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Karly permalink
    February 3, 2008 11:16 pm

    Great post. So very true and such a good reminder of the “important stuff” that is so easy to forget in the day to day world of diapers and tantrums.

  2. Jodi permalink
    February 5, 2008 9:57 pm

    Great post jen! You should publish that-

    And this-

    Do all the research you can, then make your own decisions based on what you’ve learned and your own instinct – nothing is stronger than your “gut”.

    Man did I learn that first hand after our hospital experience.

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