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January 25, 2008


Well sweet girl, tomorrow is the big day. Your second birthday. The past few weeks have been pretty hard. I miss you all the time, but moreso during the holidays, and your birthday. When your little brother was born, it was so bittersweet. It was a beautiful day laced with sadness. You should have been there, meeting your baby brother. You should be here now, driving your parents crazy with questions and mischief. But you’re not. And frankly it fucking sucks.

I know you don’t want us to be sad, and really I try so hard not to be – but I’m selfish and I want you here. So bad. I’d give just about anything to hold you again. To see you open your eyes, hear your laugh, feel your breath on my neck, smell the scent that is toddler hood.

So tomorrow I’ll try not to cry, instead I’ll try to celebrate the joy you brought us, for the very short time you were here.

I miss you and love you so.


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