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January 20, 2008

I was reading a friends blog, and something “clicked” for me.

I’ve known for several months that I have a good case of anxiety. I’ve had a few “attacks” and just general (and social) anxiety.

I’ve only just now seen how that is negatively effecting my ability to be a good mother. I get anxious, I blame it on the kids – I say I need a break from them. But, the truth is, it’s not them – they are my crutch. Yes, they contribute, but after the fact. Then it turns into me criticizing myself and my ability to be a good mom, then I start worrying about what others think of my mothering abilities. It’s an ugly spiral down.

I AM a good mother. In my heart of hearts I know this. I have well behaved, happy kids. A happy kid is a reflection of good parenting. They are smart and fun.

I have to get this anxiety under control, so I can be an even better mother to them.

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