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Mommyhood=Bipolarism

October 19, 2006

I swear since I’ve had my daughter, I’ve become bi-polar.

Nothing has ever given me the highs or lows that being her mother has given me. Her smile can make my entire day, and one fit can break it.

When she’s awake, I’m counting down the hours until she naps. When she’s napping, I can’t wait until she wakes up. Then the cycle starts all over again. I can’t wait until she’s gone for the weekend, then I want her back.

When people ask, “isn’t being a Mommy the BEST?”, I just smile. Behind that smile, inside my head, I’m either laughing hysterically (think straight-jacket laugh) or shouting something like, “ARE YOU FING KIDDING ME?? PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME THE DRUGS YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY TAKING!!!”.

She makes me crazy, she makes me happy. She tests my patience, while teaching me patience. She amazes me, she tests me, she makes me a better person, drives me crazy. All in a single day.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Jamie permalink
    October 19, 2006 1:11 am

    You are a fantastic mommy! This blog will be a beautiful thing to give to Poopy one day.

    ….and on a side note. If those turn coats want to point and laugh, fuck ’em. They aren’t fit to lick your shoe (or that shitty shirt you like to wear). You were always there for them and now they shit on you. Typical. It is amazing how brave people get when they are with a group of their peers. I think they call that “mob mentality.” Grow up or move on. She doesn’t need your drama.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    October 19, 2006 5:37 pm

    Too funny- I agree with everything you just said. I love my kids, but as I sit here and type my two year old is literally SCREAMING at me to find her blanket. I have resorted to closing the door… I am close to the edge and I need that break! EEEEKKKKKKK!

  3. scaredymama permalink
    October 26, 2006 6:20 pm

    I’ve just spent the last half-hour reading your blog (followed your link from pg.org), and all I need to say is, Amen Sister! There were some of your entries that made me feel so much better…I’m glad to know that I’m not the only mom in the world who doesn’t think this motherhood gig is just the best experience ever! My daughter is now 7 yrs old, and it is taken me that long to even consider having another one, and even now I break out in a cold sweat at the thought of doing it again.

    Just a question, feel free to blow me off if it’s tmi, but are you still taking antidepresants now that you’re expecting #2? I’m still on meds from ppd and don’t think I’m willing to give them up if we go for it again.

  4. Jennifer permalink
    October 27, 2006 1:27 am

    Kimberly – I’m absolutely on meds right now. In fact, I plan on talking to my OB next week about upping them. PPD is something I never, ever want to experience again. And, while I’m afraid, I’m also secure in the fact that my family will be here to kick my ass if need be. E-mail me if you want to talk. Jenni88@msn.com

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