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Relationship Dynamics

July 20, 2006

This is different for every couple. Becoming parents had made our relationship strong, solid. I remember after we got home from the hospital, laying in bed with Abel, just watching TV. The feeling of love for him overtook me and I cried. This man was the father of my child. He is tied to me in a way that no one else has been, no one else will ever be. He stuck by me through my pregnancy, my bitchiness, all of it. Now, together, we are responsible for raising this child, doing right by her. Making sure she’s happy, well adjusted, nice, smart, honest, good, all of it. There was no one on earth I wanted to take this on with other than him.

Abel is kind, smart, funny, genuine, hard-working, sexy and mine. Seeing him with our daughter sealed the deal for me. He is an amazing father. He’s very involved with her, and has been from the beginning. He was the one who got up with her at night, fed her, changed her diapers. He’s the one who gives her a bath every night, puts her to bed. He gets up with her if she wakes up now, comforts her. He wrestles with her, plays football with her, worries about her when she’s not feeling well. He is what a father should be. I’m lucky, she’s lucky.

We fight more now that we did before she was born. I get insecure about my decisions, he thinks he always knows what’s best. Sometimes I don’t do enough to help, sometimes I don’t feel like he does enough to help. I know it’s not a contest to see who the best parent is – it’s really hard not to travel down that road when you bring children in the picture. I always keep, in the back of my mind that there will always be a time that you do more, there will always be a time when he does more. At the end of the day, it’s your childs health and happiness that matter. Not who changed more diapers.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“The greatest thing a Father can do for his children is to love their Mother.”

How true that is. Our personal relationship is very important to both of us. We need a solid foundation to be good parents. Maintaining that takes time, energy, strength and patience – this is all in short supply with an infant in the house. It takes work, and above all else, communication. He has to know what I’m feeling to give me what I need, and vice versa. Even when it hurts, talk. If we’re happy as a couple, in love, that will be reflected in our child. We are friends, lovers, and parents. True partners in our family.

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